Court Saga

The Court Saga is a series of events occurring throughout the fall of 2025, revolving around a made-up court case opposing Cyraxx and the trolls.

For years, Cyraxx became quite infamous for desperately attempting to scare away the trolls by threatening to take them to court and have them arrested for all their "federally illegal crimes" against him. John John, alongside William Gloryhole and Southern Harlot, decided to capitalise on this recurrent delusion by crafting a scenario where Cyraxx would be able to press charges and face the trolls in a court setting. To encourage him, a buddy-troll posing as a lawyer, Laura, accepted to take Cyraxx's case "pro bono". In turn, John John, William and Southern Harlot hired the best lawyer money could buy for this case, another troll taking the nickname of Cyprus.

The Deposition

On October 29^th, a deposition hearing between all parties is held over a Zoom call. Of note, Cyraxx appeared with reading glasses and a horribly ill-buttoned dress shirt. The proceedings are derailed rather quickly as Cyraxx came wholly unprepared for the deposition, having submitted no evidence beforehand. Due to this, a continuance is announced on the 6^th of November. Nonetheless, Cyraxx attempts to show text messages on his phone out of the blue, declaring that he is “shaking up the system by doing something that’s never been done in court before”. He is however quickly shot down due to his “evidence” being unvetted.

When the topic of Cyraxx’s past is brought up, he either skirts around or outright refuse to answer the questions asked to him for the defense’s deposition. As Cyprus asks him to verbally repeat exerpts from his correspondences with minor stings for the record, Cyraxx accuses him of trying to set up an “ambush” to make him look bad. From this point on, Cyraxx’s behavior starts to degrade, as he becomes more unruly and agitated, trying to speak over everyone else and telling people to shut up.

Ultimately, due to the lack of evidence, Cyprus dismisses all charges against John John, with Cyraxx being none the wiser as to why a lawyer is somehow able to make rulings.

After this rather humiliating defeat, Cyraxx spent the next few days crying foul about Cyprus, which he accuses of being a fake lawyer due to his "trollish" behavior. The so-called trollish behavior Cyraxx was complaining about here was simply Cyprus probing him with uncomfortable question, as a lawyer is expected to do during a deposition or a discovery. He also accuses the trolls of breaking the law by livestreaming the hearing, which according to his logic will also lead to the dismissed charges against John John to be reinstated. Overall, despite his defeat, he remained highly confident that the November 6th hearing would be nothing more than a formality to have the trolls locked up for good.

In the meantime, a local troll drops by 339 Lloyd Street posing as a courier hired by Laura, coming to pick up the bricked electronics and the killstick peripherals to be registered as “exhibits” for the case.

The Conclusion

On November 6^th, the fated hearing was once again convened on Zoom, an occasion for which Cyraxx has clean-shaved for the first time since 2020. Most of the discussion revolved around Cyraxx’s bricked electronics and the 2022 “assassination attempt”. Cyraxx seemingly fails to notice the conspicuous absence of a judge, and that the lawyers are somehow able to reject or retain each other’s objections.

The rug pull

After an hour-long, largely uneventful debate, Laura announces that she will be showing a video exhibit of the killstick peripherals and bricked electronics that Cyraxx had sent over to her earlier. Suddenly, the footage cuts to show the items burning in a pile, with a text card saying “WHAT EVIDENCE? - EVIDENCE NO MORE!”. Laura feigns confusion while Cyraxx seemingly struggles to fully register what's going on. As the trolls celebrate and mock Cyraxx, the stream is unexpectedly porn-bombed by an unkown individual, forcing its early conclusion.

A little later, John John, William, Cyprus and Southern Harlot host an “after-party celebration” livestream on Rumble. Cyraxx barges in raging, throwing slurs and making threats at everyone.

This rug pull deeply affected Cyraxx, who spent the next day feverishly coping and chaining videos acting as smugly as he could to hide the devastation he endured. The most shocking outcome of this saga however was that Cyraxx somehow still believed that this was a real hearing, and that Laura was a real lawyer, promising to have her come back at the trolls and Cyprus with more charges.

The saga had a short but heated runoff when John John turned the tables and pretended to sue Cyraxx for all of the times he exposed himself on livestream. Cyraxx became livid and spent days raging and whining, posturing as if he was above the Akron Police Department and the District Attorney. Behind the scenes however, Cyraxx left dozens of voice messages to Laura, evidently terrorized and desperate as he begs her to keep him out of jail. Furthermore, Cyraxx also made a video where he attempts to directly plea with the imaginary judge of this imaginary case with his usual sob stories and lies.